i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
(via vworpsexual)
(Source: me-elaroux, via fabulous-city)
in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
(via confused-penis)
story time
so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
(via countryr0ads)
(Source: mode-et-modele, via mugglesex)
(Source: j-barbers, via countryr0ads)
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HUMPHREY BOGART & LAUREN BACALL
One night in 1953, Bogie, John Huston and some other friends were shooting the breeze rather tipsily about life and its meaning and the question arose as to whether there was any time of their lives they’d like to live over again. All of them except Bogie came up with cynical answers. Somebody said, “God forbid”. Somebody else: that he’d only like to cancel out a couple of times. Then Bogie spoke. “Yes, there’s a time I’d like to relive- the years that I have had with Betty.”
-Joe Hyams, Bogart & Bacall.
I was a kid in love for the first time. I was easy for me - I knew nothing about pitfalls. I was giving nothing but myself and I could do that without qualm. Never in my life had or has a man cared so much for me, wanted so much to protect me, surrond me with life’s joys, share everything. It made me want to return the care- to show him it was possiblle to be really happy with a woman, to give him children. I was determined to do that.
-Lauren Bacall
(via hollygohardly)
OHHH MYYYY GODDDD… You’re welcome.
Holy moly
